Today (2010)

I watch him from the corner of my eye, As I try so hard not to.

I don’t want to see him,

I don’t want to know he is there.

 

It hurts too much, And I have to admit, That I just caught his eye.

It makes me want to cry for he sits there reminding me who I fell in love with 3 years ago.

 

I now realize that this is the worst feeling I could ever feel.

To sit beside the one that means the world to me, knowing I mean nothing to him…

 

I just wish he knew, I just wish he’d understand. But he will never see me the way that I see him.

 

I still wish to confess to him, how I really feel, But will I ever have the courage to?

 

since I have seen him many times before…

2010. Just Believe

In the wind i stand,feeling your warm touch on my shoulder.

When i'm with you i know everything will be okay.

If life gets hard i know we'll make it through.

 

Let's just believe.

 

Feeling your heart beat in me,

makes everything seem better.

Having you feel my heart beat in you,

makes everything seem alright.

So no matter what we go through.

 

Let's just believe.

 

I Love you with all my heart and soul,

so i give myself to you.

Hang on tight with all you've got and never let go.

I hang in there and i hang on tight knowing i've got you.

You Will Never Know. (2010)

A thousand seconds of pain,a thousand seconds of silence..Every swallow,every breath,its just another stab to my chest.You'll never know how much i hurt,you'll never understand,i just love u more then anyone could ever know.I wish you knew how much it hurt,i wish i could share my pain.I don't like suffering on my own but then again i will have to cause u will never know.

Why I Love You More. (2010)

i love u more because
im still here to love u when u give up on life when u give up on urself im still here to love u when u think ur alone im still here to love u when u say things tht make u afraid ill leave u im still here
thats why i love u more

i love u so much more cause ive never given up on you
even if ive given up on myself
i love u so much more
cause u havent given up on me
and i love u so much more
cause i kno i never will

2010. To Look Into The Eyes Of The Boy I Fell In love With.

It hurts everyday to watch it all change,to watch it slowly disappear,and not be sure when and if you'll ever see it again.

When him and I reach a certain age,what we have will disappear,cause we are young,we are children and after a certain age,we will not feel its grown up to live and to have what we have.

I want this feeling with him,till I'm at least 19,till he goes on and lives his life,to go on and build his future how he wants it.
I wanna live this; what we have now,till we can't anymore.
Once we hit at least 19 then it's not the same,cause we won't see each other how we did as children.

I wish i grew up with him,it would have built a stronger bridge,it would have given us more time to have what we have,that I've had for 4 years,i want it for at least a little longer,before it's gone,before we go our own way,before we do what we gotta do to live the rest of our lives how we want it.

Your only a child once,you only get to have that relationship once.
Why end it sooner then you have to?When you know you don't have to just yet.

You wonder what I'll do after....after?
After what?
After I'm 19?
After I look at him and no longer see the boy i feel everything for?

I'll move on,I'll continue life and be happy.

But for now I'll cherish it, because just cause you don't see what I see when I look at him and that doesn't mean it's not amazing...
because i can tell you one thing...

It is amazing to look into the eyes of the boy I feel inlove with.

2010 Hospital Waiting Room.

life is a big hosp. waiting room
and ive been here for years waiting for life to get better
and im already chewing on things
ripping my hair out

thts why i cry everyday
feels like im in a waiting room

maybe i should play scrabble
to pass the time
or eat turkey sandwhichs from the vending machine that i like


lets play scrabble then
sit on the floor in a corner
and play
till i get tired and frusterated
and cry myself to sleep

so i can wake up and do it all again....

It's Funny -2010

It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it`s funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, none of that`s funny to me.