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Sunday 27 November 2016

NSFWish. Nursery Rhymes For The 21st Century.

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Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead, And now it goes to school each day,
Between two bits of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill, he planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass, now his two front teeth are missing.



Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch poor Rover a bone. When she bent over, Rover came over and gave her a bone of his own. 


Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as now, the lamb went to the club one night and dropped it hella low.


Mary Mary quite contrary, How has your garden thrived? With fertilizers and chemicals? Or is it genetically modified? 


Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girl and didn't know why. When the boys came out to play, he kissed them too because he was gay.


Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town, Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown, The silly man would have looked better If he waited till the warmer weather.


Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,Had a wife and couldn't keep her! She slipped through his fingers like sand
So he ordered another one from Thailand.


A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar, What makes you come so soon? You used to come at 10 o'clock But now you come as soon as you enter the room.


Twinkle, twinkle little star,  How I wonder what you are? Are you a star twinkling bright? Or just another bloody satellite


Twinkle, twinkle little star,  How I wonder what you are? Are you the star I saw before?Or an earth destroying meteor?


One, two, three, four, five. Once I caught a fish alive, But what we couldn’t see, The fish was full of Mercury.


Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon. We just couldn’t wait to have more fun, As we heated some more in a spoon.


Little Boy Blue Come blow your horn, And I’ll make you a superstar In the world of porn.


Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To get her and doggie some bread. When she got there
The cupboard was bare, So she ate the doggie instead.


As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Seven wives now that’s really tough, I’ve got one and that’s enough.


Jack was nimble and came too quick,so Jill had to use the candle stick. 


Jack and Jill went into town, to fetch some chips and sweeties. Now he can't keep his heart rate down and she's got diabetes.



1 comment:

  1. Kids can feel cheerful and smart when they start to watch Nursery Rhymes. The most beautiful animated nursery rhymes for Kids. Join us to teach your children through fun and entertainment.

    Let's Play in the Park Rhyme
    Wheels on the Bus Rhyme
    Head Shoulders Knees & Toes Rhyme
    5 in One Rhymes

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